Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance.

The power to tax, once conceded, has no limits; it contains until it destroys.

A motion to adjourn is always in order.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

A Libertarian Movement slogan

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

A pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun - and neither can stop the march of events.

Premenstrual Syndrome: Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.

Luck is a tag given by the mediocre to account for the accomplishments of genius.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.

Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you - if you don't play, you can't win.

Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishfull thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms.

How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven.

A fool cannot be protected from his folly. If you attempt to do so, you will not only arouse his animosity but also you will be attempting to deprive him of whatever benefit he is capable of deriving from experience. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.

A poet that reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.