Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx Quotations
We found 40 matching quotations.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Politics doesn?t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.
I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
You are only as old as the woman you feel.
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.