In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
Groucho Marx Quotations
We found 40 matching quotations.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
You are only as old as the woman you feel.
If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.
Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Politics doesn?t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.
I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.