In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck Quotations
We found 15 matching quotations.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
I told you I was sick.
It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.