It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefor excused from saving Universes.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

It?s not the fall that kills you; it?s the sudden stop at the end.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling.

A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extrordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second-rate technology, who led them into it in the first place.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously.

Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Life is wasted on the living.

This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark.

See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

One of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them: It is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job. Another problem with governing people is people.